All I want

I want to believe that everything will be alright
but at the end that just a bullshit
I want to believe if we doing something we will get a thing
but I already try everything but I got nothing
I want to believe it, I do
but all my fate just gone piece by piece

This live full of arrogant people
they think they own this world
this live full of the fake
killing behind, betrayer, have no brave
this live full of lie
what we see is not the truth

Is this live just nothing?
people be good until they get what they want
is this live just nothing?
all smile is fake, that weapon to kill
is this live just nothing?
how I could get something

Play drama, fake smiling, talk a lie
everything full of that thing
is that any truth?
I miss it

I want I can sleep without worry about anything
wake up in the morning with face full of smiling
because I know all problem can be breaking
just with a trusting

I want to have a believe
that ugly people don't mean ugly hurt
all people is pure like Eve
this live must full of ark
that must be a gift
all be good each park

But I live in the real
all I do have a deal
if I can't full fill it that worse than be kill
why this live can't through with chill

I know why they do that
I understand, I bet
but because live just fate
all sad is bad
but all happiness is fake
how could I live with all I get
live like this so hate
killing or be killed like big cat
all getting worth with people have bleed
never better without sad

Nov 10th, 2014

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Live

Sometime I just wanna give up and let it happen
sometime I want to stop, look same from the beginning
sometime I bored and just wanna sleep the all time
sometime I just wanna quit, look I never do an effort

Nothing make me survive, everything hopeless
nothing hold me to stay, everything useless
nothing I really wanna do
nothing

But I can't stop, it just happen
but I have to survive, although nothing hope
but I have to through

This happen just like that
this happen out of my mind
this happen without any excuse

I know I can run, but I don't know where I have to go
I know I can stop any time, but I will pay it worse
I know I can doing nothing to help my self
I know I can't hope an help
I know it already

This way not to hard but complicated
I get in but there is no way out
it's not so dark but everywhere is wall
no door

I stuck here
run just waste my energy
think can't make nothing handy
smiling make everything so badly
so I watch everything
hear anything
ya, just walk on it
ya, that live

Nov 10-12th, 2014

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I tell you my secret

Do you know when I act so stout
actually I hiding my crumbly
do you know when I so hard
actually I hiding my soft side

Because I don't want anyone feel sorry about me
because I don't want any attention from this
because I want see who can see through me

Are you really believe when I say never, that no chance?
are you really believe when I said impossible, that no possibility?
you just see the outside, judge me
it really hurt me

When I said never you just step back and stay
when I said impossible, you doing nothing even waiting
if you see me, the real me
you will know I ask you wait for me
you will know I want you like crazy
you will know I need you badly
you will know I defending from fall for you
you will know I am nothing without you
you will know I die when there is no you

But you so blind, you never know that
but you so arrogant, just judge from the outside
but you always like that, maybe much better I step back
I waiting for time, when I never see you anymore
I will forget you a little bit, then a little more
until someday it be no feeling more

Why you so blind? I already show you
why you so arrogant? I always ask you to stay
why you just like that? you hurt me

maybe that why we will never be together
you can't understand me
and I clumsy, can't fit with you
if someday you realize, it already late
but yes, I was love you

Nov 7th, 2014

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Dummy reality

Your act give me hope
hope you hold me tight
and never let me go
hope you going crazy about me
hope you come and get me
hope you just think about me
yes, I do
I hope that can be real

You right in front of me
but not real you, you so far from me
you right in front of my eye
but not me in your eye

You love me but ask me out
you want me but keep a distance
do you think about me? I hesitate

Are you playing this feeling, my feeling
if you love me, say it
are you playing this feeling, my feeling
if you hate me, call it

Sometime you like want me
at the same time you pull me out
sometime you give me a more then friend attention
at the same time you just not noticing

You make me confuse
I don't know what to do
you pull me up when I step back
I really don't know what I should do
you push me when I go forward

Just tell me the truth
can I make it through
or just enough
I can't wait so stout

Nov 7th. 2014

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