My desicion

time ago you are the number one
Then you are all I want
and know you still around

but time gone then I change and you too
I stay and you go
that not screw anything now
little decision to grow

First time I don't understand
that time I just wanna blame
never want to be lame

Now I not understand still
but little by little I will
take all lesson be the deal

That true that only you can make me comfort
I following you like the little red bird
when you gone I loose my earth
that doesn't mean that you a jerk
but yes you are my narc

Now I not understand still
but little by little I will
take all lesson be the deal

Lesson one you gone and I can't make you stay
I already do everything to make it delay
that look so gray
So I accept that you already flew away

Next lesson is accept it make me better
you already gone so I have to cheer
Nothing change although I drink all beer
So I let you go dear

Last lesson force to forget make me remind you
every time I try not to make me more want to
So all I need to do is let it go

lesson and decision is already
now I much love me
not forget but just let it be
hold thinking is creepy
so accept, let, and happy
and thank give so many

27 April 2015

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Kamus Bahasa Bali

K

Kanggen                          :pakai

Katos                               : keras

Kayah                              : mandi

Ke anggen                       :pakai

Kebos                              : panas

Kedek                              : tertawa

Kejegjeg                          : terinjak

Kenten                             : itu

Kewah                             : susah

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Kamus Bahasa Bali

J

Jegeg                               : cantik

Jeleme                              : orang

Jemak                              : ambil

Jemet                               : rajin

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Kamus Bahasa Bali

I

Iba                                   : diri sendiri

PI (penting iba)           : egois

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Kamus Bahasa Bali

G

Gedang                            : pepaya

Gelem                              : sakit

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Kamus Bahasa Bali

D

Dase                                : 10

Tumpang dase            : 10x

Dekdek                            : sedikit

Disisi                               : di luar

Dumogi                           : semoga

Durung                            : belum

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Kamus Bahasa Bali

C

Cenik                               : kecil

CGT (cenik gae to)     : tidak masalah

Cening                             : anak

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Kamus Bahasa Bali

B

Basa                                 : bahasa

Bayu                                : tenaga

Bedik                               : sedikit

Beh                                  : sudah

Bejemak                          : sudah diambil

Beneh                              : hasil

Bengkeang                      : pinggang

Benjang                           : besok

Besikat                            : menyikat gigi

Buang                              : nafsu

Buin (bahas kasar)           : lagi

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Kamus Bahasa Bali

A

Ados                                : mengapa begitu

Amon                              : kalau

Ampura                           : maaf

Anteng                            : rajin

Anteng                            : selendang

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Yes, that true

I looking at somebody else
they have friend
or more, group of them

then I looking to my self
I can't hold anyone
even one
that pathetic
but yes I am not sure I have it

It's not like I not try
I try it so hard
finding somebody who called friend
but it's not work

I ever think somebody is my friend but not
trough me out when get somebody else
then I try again but negatif
try again but not positif
how could I have friend after that

So when I meet somebody on the way and ask
"Are you alone"
I say yes without pressure
when somebody ask me
"Are you don't have friend"
I say yes again without pressure
that much better

I much better alone even having fake friend
I much better be loner even be toy just to play
I am have favor
why I should do something I don't want to when I don't
when I with my self I can enjoy everything
I can do anything

So yes I alone
maybe pathetic
absolutely loner
but I free and happy

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Perfume

The person through me have a good smell
she stand around me
people come to her just because the smell
yes, the smell is good
I know it
I also smell it and stay by her side because that
then time gone
she's gone

Now I all alone
I miss the smell
I miss her and people around her
but the people will change when they around me
because my smell not like her

I have my own perfume
I like her but I will not change mine
I know everything just for her not for me
although just for a while but it so warm

I so blessing meet somebody like her
thank for time and people
it so warm, I never feel it before
it so warm and burn me to die

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Question for you

Can I ask you to hold me tight?
when I ask that will you do it right
take me on your side

maybe not because you are not mine
I can't that even just imagination
you have somebody else

can I ask you why you treat me that special
that make thing I am your number one
and she your past history and will gone

maybe you don't meant it
but I know you also feel it

Do you know that you crush me
why you not kill me
am I doing something make you hate me
then torture me

my ear recognize your voice
my smile up when you around
my heart so warm when you with me
but you are not mine
and will never
somebody else taken you
somebody else have you

why you not just killing me
I like alive in fake life
always laugh when I want to cry
act fine but I already die
enjoy all suck thing
are you make fun of me
you get my heart then you throw it away
do you realize that I always cry

Do you know what I want?
I want to hate you but every time I meet you I forgive you
I want to forget you but there is so much memory about you
I want to let you go but every time I see your face I never could
I want you know that you are the one for me
I want you know and hold me
I want you just with me
I want you so badly

Denpasar, February,  2nd 2015

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Standing alone

I standing here alone
I starting thinking about time has gone
I begun to cry
I begun going crazy

Time already flew, nothing left in my side
you gone just like that
like there is nothing happen
or maybe I though that happen but its never

So funny when we look at each other
I see u fine but I should try
try so hard to make everything look fine
hold my heart not to beat

From the first time you told me u have girl
then u made I felt be the special one
but never be your girl
and everything so fun

Yes, this my fault fall in to you
my mine know what to do
but my heart  jump out every time I look at you
naturally be around you
whatever you ask I always say no
I couldn't say yes, wish you know

but truth is true and I am not your
then you gone with your girl and I standing here
keep my feet stand well
keep laughing like a bell
act like there is nothing wrong is hell

Yes, this is my fault fall in love
now my heart broken like a glass
I put it one by one make it stick together like before
but I never success

there is a big hole now
try to full fill but I don't know how
try to remain what I do before met you
try enjoy all day without you
try as good as I could

and when I standing here alone again
I cry then going crazy
I can't let you go to be my history
but I can't hold you beside me
I just nobody

I never regret about this time
but let you coloring my day is wrong
since the first time you are not mine
I can't do anything but let you gone

can't willing you with another girl not me
hope you not happy and go back to me
realize that I your somebody
not friend certainly

but I can't compete her because she is the one
and I standing here alone
I starting thinking about time has gone
I begun to cry
I begun going crazy
then I stop do that even I can't

Denpasar, February,  2nd 2015

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